Despite the lies that you're making

I'm leaving the country. I need a fresh start and a good experience. I need to learn something about the world. A week into the school year I'm going to the IPO and beginning the process. I've narrowed my choices down to Senegal and England. The two are very different, and I want to go to those places for very different reasons. Senegal has a French language immersion program, and, I mean, who else will be able to say they've had the experience I'm going to have there? Then again, England is fucking England. With English and stuff. Much easier, and I can make a weekend trip out of visiting Paris.

We'll see how this goes, but I'm in my senior year now and if I'm going to go into some kind of international occupation I need to start actually going to these places now.

I had the saddest dream last night. I was asleep in a bed somewhere and I woke up to Kiel kissing me. He apologized and then fell asleep next to me. It felt so nice that when I woke up I felt nauseous from the crush of reality. I've never had a dream so plainly feed me what I want, and it hurt to wake up.

But wake up I must. I need to open my eyes and force myself to see what's really going on here. It's funny, I keep thinking something is going to make me cry in this whole situation, but I feel too drained to leak anything.

I wish I were as strong as Kyle, but at the end of it all I couldn't look at someone I had such strong feelings for and lie. I couldn't tell him I wouldn't wait forever as long as I could hold on to hope. It felt so weird, to have him spill his guts on how wonderful I am, and how happy I make him, and then hear "but." That's the worst word in the English dictionary when you're so in love with the beginning of the sentence.

We both refused to lie to each other. We knew it would end terribly if one of us didn't say no and end it there, but it hurt too much. I guess we're both weak.

I told him straight up that if he didn't tear my hope away like I needed him to, then I'd be left suffering, waiting for him. I didn't feel bad pressuring him. He needed to know that I would be miserable for years, that I HAD been miserable for years. I needed him to know that he had me on an emotional leash. He needed to know the consequences for his actions. I am so sick of waiting, but I can't stop myself. I wanted him to stop me, be he couldn't.

He promised he would try, but couldn't guarantee anything. I am so... so sad. I have never felt really like I was just straight up sad before. It's such a simple word, but it really sums up my feelings. I'm blah, grey... I'm sad.

It's quite strange to be here. I'm so used to dating people that, unlike me, have cars and parents with tons of money to throw at them. It's odd, but I feel knda cofortable being bored here. Jim's asleep on the couch and I'm using his computer. His brother's are on their computers. Me being here is completely unspecial, and I kinda like that. Yeah, I do sorta miss my boyfriends being my taxi, but I still have Kiel and Pat.

Maybe I was a little unfair before. It's not like no one wants to girl talk with me so much as the miute I say anything I feel stupid. That, and Jim's and odd guy to talk about. You'd have to be there, really, to get everything I say.

Last night we were talking (that's all we've done, is talk... seriously, talk and sleep... I've had one meal since my arrival) and I told him about all the nice things he says to me when he's drunk. He's uaully such a cocky guy that it was funny to watch him get embarassed. We rarely say those kind of blatently romantic things to each other, and I like that. Hearing something once is all I need. I remember, I believe him. Ergo I don't need repition.

Ugh, he's snoring. Aprently I've been snoring a lot lately and it's loud as hell, but I'm sick as hell and I know it'll be gone with my illness... whatever this is. My throat is swollen and all that jazz.

Jim's parents seem to like me. His mom was up at 7am today and I woke up a little after from the pain in my throat. I talked to her until she left for work and then went back to sleep. I never thought I'd say this, but Jim is just like his dad. For a Reverend, Jim's dad has an attitude XD. He keeps making fun of me because my relationship with Jim is by choice, so I must be either stupid or massochistic.

He offered to let me stay an extra day and drive me back to campus on Sunday with them. I'm not quite sure yet. If Pat came to get me tomorrow I'd be able to, ya know, EAT more than once a day and go out places and I wouldn't have to deal with the frustration of being in the same house as my own boyfriend sleeping on a couch. At the same time, this supreme level of boredom will eventually drive me to do my homework.

When I get back to school I have my French work due on Monday, exam Tuesday, exam Wednesday and paper due Thursday, not to mention my Pre-English Orienation meeting. FUN TIMES! Humans Vs. Zombies starts up when we get back. Good thing I'll have to be locked in my room anyways. Zombies shant get me. Also, I think I might pop out my screen so I can climb in and out of my window. XD I'm fuckin hardcore.

Playing Humans Vs. Zombies means staying away from the Mary Lyon, the dorm where all my new pals live. Maybe I'll risk going there next weekend with Kate. I've been trying to drag her there for a while because she wants to meet Jim. Actually she wants to sleep with him, but I said no and I trust Kate enough that she isn't going to actually try something. I wish I could drag Kyle there! Everyone wants to meet this ellusive "girl"Kyle I always speak of. But miss BusyBody over there constantly has shit to do.

I was lucky/honored she could spend Wednesday with me. She, "boy"Kiel and I went out to eat on Kiel's money (YAY) and then out for ice cream. Great, now I'm even hungrier... Anyways, after that we went to Kiel's place and had tea and I tried to do costume work and failed hardcore. God I never wanna touch that stuff again. I really don't. Before it was just the people letting me down, now the entire process just isn't fun anymore. So yes, Kyle and Kiel watched a movie while I tried to work. I did what I could but just ended up dead and defeated. I wasn't even going and I was still up at 2 doing work and sewing in the car the next day. Kyle and Kiel seemed to get along well though... maybe a little too well...

So now I'm here in Soney Point, NY starving and bored. I'd take a nap too but every keeps maing fun of my snoring.

Well since no one seems to wanna have a girlie chat with me, I'll gush all my feelings here.

Part of why I like Jim is our lack of strong feelings for each other. I call him my boyfriend because everyone else decided he and I wre dating. His friend Akiko thinks I'm a good match for him, and everyone thinks we look ever so cute together. Part of why we are so comfortable around each other is because the relationship isn't actually that serious. I do admit I talk about Jim a lot, but that's because I've been around him a lot. He's kind of like my new toy.

I'm at a crossroads this Spring Break, however. Will I start actually developing feelings for him. While I could be in Pat's giant house for the end of break, I'm going to visit Jim instead. Maybe he wants to show me off. He did tell me his brothers have fuggo girlfriends. I get to go to church on Friday night (WHOOOO HOOOO) and sleep in a guest bed. Why am I going?

Jim is fun. He is fun to talk to. I don't know if I don't feel that kind of longing, high-school-crush connection AT ALL or if I just don't feel it YET. I like that I'm not counting down he days or calling him between visits like I have in the past. He doesn't use AIM so our time apart is realy spent without communication.

Oh, it seems I have to go
Part 2 later

The NEW Plan as of Now:
I am currently in New York
On Tuesday morning Pat is going to drive me home, hang around, and then head to Providence
He will head to Easton the next day
He will head back to New York with me on Thursday, dropping me at Jim's
I will spend Thursday and Friday night with Jim
On Friday, Pat will drive up to Marlborough (may go somewhere near AB to deliver his sister and costumes)
When he drives back on Saturday, he'll get me from Jim's
After dinner on Sunday we head back to campus

I am a damn confident woman. Why the FUCK do I always feel meek and stupid when I talk to Kiel? isdufgsdgiuigfdisfugsdfibgi FUCK MEN!!!!

[14:08] CaseyChu Tackle: I called my mom today
[14:08] CaseyChu Tackle: she's like "Still hate Paul?"
"Hope he dies"
[14:09] Okuni Kurade: you're lucky for having clear feelings most of the time
[14:10] Okuni Kurade: but then again, the dudes you date are pretty invariably douchey
[14:10] Okuni Kurade: so naturally, it's simpler all around
[14:12] CaseyChu Tackle: yeah
[14:12] CaseyChu Tackle: lucky me

I do like that about myself. I usually have a clear understanding of how I feel about people. I think in exchange for that amazing trait, I had to be balanced out by the complete inability to decide how to react to the way people feel about me. I actually quite angry at Pat for saying that he liked me 2 days after I said I was giving up men for Lent. Why don't these people listen? Denying me time to myself to decide my own wants and needs is so selfish. I'm supposed to be focusing on myself and you decide to give me a whopping TWO days before you make it about you? I'm so sick of this. If i didn't need to help him move and wasn't sure I'll be able to calm down about this whole matter in about 24 hours I'd give him a massive verbal bitch smack. I was so glad to have another male that only wanted to be my friend but all those hopes got dashed. He sounds really immature about it too; suggesting a Friends With Benefits sort of deal even though he's a virgin. That's just dumb. I thought saying this was "for Lent" would help people who were attracted to me not wanna "test" me or whatever, but no.

On top of the is Anime Boston stress. I don't know how much I really care about saving Niky from her stupid friends. No one can give me straight answers on anything. Brittany and Niky are both so flakey and uncommitted. "Yeah, I'd think about doing that costume." Only Bene is like "Dress me up in whatever." Amanda's already been in and out of these plans enough times that's she technically having sex with them at this point. It's in the middle of March you nitwits, give me an answer. Ugh, do i really wanna shovel my money into this? I know Amanda dropping out was received with nary a hair blown out of place from the barely-there reaction but I just know if I do they'll add another "bitch" brand to me to join the countless other ones I haven't earned.

Sarah told me the other day it's way to easy for people to walk all over me. It's true, no one gives a fuck about saying no to me. Even those of you closest to me, I'm sorry to say, have let me down without so much as a second thought in situations where I would sooner stab out both my eyes with forks just to please you. Again, sorry if this pisses any of you off, but I feel Alayna is the only person willing to walk to the ends of the world and back again for people the way I do. Some people consider that level of devotion a sign of weakness; that we're not paying enough attention to ourselves. Not true. The only thing that's hurting me right now is this constant feeling of let down from those around me. Half-assed promises about helping me move, giving me space, saying you'll stick up for me. Niky's so spineless it's almost bordering on two-faced at this point. What happened to the good old days? When you broke up with a guy you and your girlfriends dissed him all night while eating ice cream with you. No, WTF, they go to his house and play relay the passive-aggressive emo messages back and forth so she knows he caaaaaaaaares.

Once I move into my new dorm room I have a feeling I'll be staying there a lot. I dunno, as much as I love other people I hate them too. I liked that Pat would be my friend and my friend only; a friend who didn't miss or hell even TALK TO Paul or Jake or Will. I'm sick of sharing my friends with people who are mean to me or make my life difficult. But no, pat ruined that lovely place of solace in my life. I dunno, I feel like I'm constantly the last resort friend. I feel I have to beg for everything. Everyone else seems to have some second set of friends in the vain of "wanting what you can't have." I might very well be smothering my friends around me with devotion, but when people like Brittany go hang out with these gaywads who are just ever so J-posh (making up my own words is fun). She doesn't describe them as fun and they don't seem to have any real connection to who they really are, just who they wanna be seen as. In the end it seems fandom friends can always win, and I'm sick of it. No, I don't wanna play Kingdom Hearts. No, I don't wanna dress up like a Bleach character. I do wanna hear about your day at school. I wanna go shopping with you. Why, when I wanna be part of our life do you insist I'm not good enough, and that the people that barely know you but can list every Final Fantasy summon are better? I'd rather listen to you than the OMG FAVORITE BAND we share, but that's not what anyone seems to want.

And yet I'm still too attached. I can't get rid of my tumorous friends because that would ultimately mean wiping the slate clean. I can't get rid of anyone anymore. No matter how much people hurt me my friends tied me down to them. Every heavy rock-of-a-person is just one more thing I have to drag around in order to reach any ounce of happiness I can squeeze out of my life lately. I have to know that after every lunch I have with Kate she's heading to Jenn and Matt's. I have to know that when I sit on Niky's bed and talk to her about my day, that Paul will be there in a few hours. And yet I still like everyone too much to actually end up with the Tabula Rasa I seem to need.

This will be my new cast in the YuGiOh fic I'm thinking of writing. Amanda's working on drawing the pictures for the cards. Ugh, they were so hard to think up.

Name: Colette Michaels
Egyptian Name: Achala
Age: 21
Height: 5’2”
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Blue
Element: Stars
Item: Millennium Puzzle
Card Name: Lady of Sovereignty
Card Effect: Is summoned without sacrifices, but only when the player’s Life Points are 500 or below.
Owner: Yami/Yugi

Name: Brooke Garrison
Egyptian Name: Lawahiz
Age: 21
Height: 5’4”
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Brown
Element: Light
Item: Scales
Card Name: Blind Prophet
Card Effect: Forces all trap and magic cards to be played face up. All trap and magic cards on the field at the time of her summon must be flipped, but cannot be activated.
Owner: Shadi

Name: Mia Adams
Egyptian Name: Yusriya
Age: 22
Height: 5’10”
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Element: Darkness
Item: Millennium Rod
Card Name: Bride of Sacrifice
Card Effect: Can be sacrificed to summon any monsters in the player’s hand regardless of level.
Owner: Kaiba

Name: Lynn Arthur
Egyptian Name: Sunari
Age: 23
Height: 5’4”
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Blue
Element: Water
Item: Millennium Eye
Card Name: Frigid Queen
Card Effect: No opposing monsters can attack while she is on the field.
Owner: Pegasus

Name: Valerie St. James
Egyptian Name: Faida
Age: 20
Height: 5’0”
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Green
Element: Fire
Item: Millennium Necklace
Card Name: Bound Soldier
Card Effect: Card can only be summoned when the player has another monster already in play. Player must bestow her attack points on allied monsters.
Owner: Ishizu

Name: Olivia Moore
Egyptian Name: Xara
Age: 22
Height: 5’8”
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Hazel
Element: Wind
Item: Millennium Ankh/Key
Card Name: Reverse Puppeteer
Card Effect: Allied monsters can be sent to the opponents side of the field, but remain controlled by the player.
Owner: Joey

Name: Ivette Sylva
Egyptian Name: Yafia
Age: 21
Height: 5’5”
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue
Element: Earth
Item: Millennium Ring
Card Name: Sorceress of Vanishing
Card Effect: Can block use of one monster space per turn. If a monster is on that space, that monster is taken out of play.
Owner: Bakura

Uh... I kinda broke up with Paul.
Yeah, my friends and family are saying I'm not allowed to date for a year. Though I'm apparently still allowed to have random hook-ups. Not quite sure how much I want to. siiiiigh

Is it dumb that I kinda miss Yu Gi Oh?

Introduction to Agreeableness

This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways.

You are best described as:
TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

Words that describe you:

* Fair
* Considered
* Collaborative



* Responsive
* Sensible
* Diplomatic



* Contemplative
* Indulgent
* Rational



A General Description of How You Interact with Others

You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able.

You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.

When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty.

You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

For people who are ruled by tender-hearted compassion, your more diplomatic response to problems might seem too cool, too focused on fairness and not filled enough with sympathy and selflessness.

For them, when someone's life is on fire, what is needed is not collaboration but rescue. And the person who experiences their life on fire may resent the time you take to contemplate. "I need you, and I need you NOW! This isn't about fairness, it's about the fire." "All deliberate speed" may seem too deliberate and not fast enough, either to the more compassionate or to people in genuine trouble.

At the other end of the spectrum of compassion, those who believe people should take care of themselves may find even your thoughtful sympathies too soft. They expect people, themselves included, to work their own way out of trouble. They are convinced that the helping hand you lend just fosters dependence and is not good for the development of character, either in you or in the person you assist.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Many people, perhaps the majority, will come to appreciate your balance as a compassionate person. The more they get to know you, the more they will admire your thoughtful compassion for others and its compliment in the sensible ways you take good care of yourself.

Those whom you help will appreciate the way you leave them with their dignity by expecting them to collaborate in their own rescue. Those who are more tender-hearted will find in you a balance they lack; when they've run out of energy because they fail to take good care of themselves, you will still have enough compassion left to lift others out of trouble.

Even the tough-hearted, those who believe people should solve their own problems, might come to admire your tenderness which they don't find in themselves. So the people you help will be grateful, and the people who see your balance between self and others will admire you. Certainly, balanced is not bad at all as a way to be known among your friends.

Well, it's finals week now, but I only have one final and it's on Friday. I'll be going home in 3 days and there's only a week till Christmas. I'll be working until I take the final (at 8 AM) and then my mom should be getting me at noon. Uuuugh I can't wait to be home and see Kyle and Mariam and Saraha and my giant nephew.

Lately I've been back into arguing online over pairings. I never would have thought I'd grow up to argue about the purity and holiness of a heterosexual, non-rival pairing. I just can't do rival pairings anymore, and yaoi has just gotten gross and rediculous.

KATAANG 4 LYFE!!!

I need, like, a Kataang T-shirt or something. Show my love.

I can't wait till people start opening things. I let Paul open his smallest gift because he needed it bad (it was lip balm) and because I got to open my glasses. I'm so glad I don't have those old metal ones anymore.

I wish I had more to say, but I've just got Christmas on the brain.

1. Old Piglet
http://iqkids.com/clpi10pl.html


2. Black Choker
http://www.thepervmart.com/cgi-bin/edatcat/PRVstore.cgi?user_action=detail&catalogno=ALR-CH-105
(Yeaaaaahhh, I know, the link is hilarious…)


3. Pikachu Pillow
http://www.toycup.com/popicu14picu.html


4. Any Bath and Body Works Spray that you like the scent of. Go to the store and smell them. I’m personally a fan of
- Cucumber Melon
- Green Clover and Aloe
- Wild Honeysuckle
- White Tea and Ginger
- Sea Island Cotton
- Twisted Peppermint


5. Halo 3 Poster
http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Halo-3_i2670593_.htm?AID=1577398651


6. Avatar DVDs
http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/searchtools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=2905572&Sku=DVD-PAR%20D851154D&SRCCODE=GOOGLEBASE&CMP=OTC-GOOGLEBASE
or
http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/searchtools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=3233244&Sku=DVD-PAR%20D852344D&SRCCODE=GOOGLEBASE&CMP=OTC-GOOGLEBASE


7. ur mom


8. This Pikachu stuff
http://adfarm.mediaplex.com/ad/ck/711-5256-8196-2?loc=http%3A%2F%2Fcgi.ebay.com%2FPOKEMON-Earrings-and-Cell-Phone-Charm-of-PIKACHU_W0QQitemZ200178405931QQcmdZViewItem


9. I also like the Pokemon Buizel
http://store.walloffame.net/po5inmiplse22.html
and Luvdisc
http://www.toywiz.com/beachheart.html


10. Pearls Before Swine Merchandise (if you haven’t read it, go here http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/ and kill some time)
- http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0740767720/ref=nosim/unitedmedia
- http://www.cafepress.com/pearls.25779269
- http://www.cafepress.com/pearls.79203645#


11. A DS Game
- Mario Party DS
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?dest=9999999997&product_id=6527061&sourceid=1500000000000003142040
- Pokemon Trozei
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?dest=9999999997&product_id=4631043&sourceid=1500000000000003142040
- Super Princess Peach
http://www.circuitcity.com/ccd/productDetail.do?oid=144719&WT.mc_n=4&WT.mc_t=U&cm_ven=COMPARISON%20SHOPPING&cm_cat=GOOGLE&cm_pla=DATAFEED-%3EPRODUCTS&cm_ite=1%20PRODUCT&cm_keycode=4


12. Pikachu mold
http://cgi.ebay.com/POKEMON-PIKACHU-CHOCOLATE-CANDY-MOLD-MOLDS-PARTY-FAVORS_W0QQitemZ190110424932QqcmdZViewItem


13. Tea
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-0740529-4652945?ASIN=B000JWNGFK&AFID=Froogle&LNM=B000JWNGFK|igourmet_Legends_of_Chai_Tea_Gift_Box__14.88_oz.&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B000JWNGFK&ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001


14. Buy me a freakin’ blanket so I don’t freeze all winter at your place
http://www.solidcolorhats.com/index.cfm/fa/items.main/parentcat/19904/subcatid/46061/id/240568
or
http://orderclothes.org/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=shop.flypage&product_id=6400&category_id=258&manufacturer_id=3&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=26


15. A non-war PS2 FPS like
- Red Faction
http://www.etoys.com/genProduct.html/PID/1044708/ctid/19?ci_sku=108383&ci_src=14110944

Wow life. So much stuff keeps changing. Apparently Jake and I have already started dating other people. Hm. Usually I'm nosy as Hell, but I'm so 'meh' about this I'm a little worried about my gossipy self.

Last night was a lot of fun. I'm glad I finally got to have a night like this. Me, Paul, Amanda, Matt, Niky, her friend Beth and Rich came over and I made a great chicken caesar salad and then was all watch Miss Congeniality. The guys kept trying to reinstate their manliness by talking about gasoline and stuff; it was very funny. Then we played Apples to Apples and I was, as per usual, cracking jokes left and right. After everyone left Paul said he thought it was hawt that I can command attention like that. It was a weird but sweet compliment. I'm not used to guys saying all these things about me. I guess it's nice to hear a guy compliment on all the things I used to have to compliment myself on.

I'm still working out this god damn semester. The university is, like, playing ping pong with me. "See this person, then see this person and she'll refer you to this person who will send you back to the person you saw three persons ago and they'll realize you were supposed to go see these two people." UGH! I still have upcoming appointments at really bad times, I still owe Jake that $1600 and I have to apply for housing next semester. I hope my financial aid doesn't suffer because of a bad semester. I was so proud that I didn't need to take out loans, I don't wanna have to start because Jake's a douchebag.

I'm sorry I never filled you guys in on the whole story. I guess "I broke up with my live-in boyfriend" wasn't even scratching the surface, but I didn't wanna bore or worry you with the details. But I guess you deserve to know.

It didn't even start small. The first time I said no to him he cut himself. I wanted to stay in my dorm room with Kyle and he was afraid I'd cheat on him and wanted me to sleep in his room to make sure I didn't. I dunno why I didn't leave, but it never got better. He began yelling at me in public, loudly calling me a stupid bitch over the dumbest things. My favorite it when he said that because I wanted to by generic brand frosted flakes. When I tried to go to the movies without him he said he'd just drive to the theater and sit next to me anyways. In more "private matters of the bedroom" he began asking for creepier and creepier things. I said no, but it'd just piss him off. He began telling me it was my duty as a girlfriend ot have sex with him regularly and made me stop taking my BC because he thought it was killing my libido. If i did better than him at a video game he was sell the game or hide it, and often threatened to delete my saved game so there'd be no proof. We took a class together and he freaked out when I did a whooping TWO points better than him on one out of three exams. He got a higher score on the other two by a little under a full letter grade each time. That's not even the half of it, but you get the point...

Sorry I lied. I just didn't want you to worry about me. It isn't serious yet. I really do wanna use my "single" time to make up for all the bullshit reasons why I didn't have time for you.

I'm doing very very poorly in all my classes (failed 2 midterms). I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I may need to become a part-time student. I'll be discussing it with my therapist this Thursday, but things aren't looking too good for me.

Jake won't let me off the lease, so I'm meeting with a Mediator from the Every Woman's Center today after French class. I'm gonna do some audio exercises, go to work, go to class, to to my meeting and then come home.

I wish I had more of my stuff over here at the new apartment. My clothes are all over the floor in what will be my bedroom; you know, once I get a bed. Sleeping on that tiny love seat sucks.

I feel really petty taking Jake out of my old picture frames, but there's no sense in keeping them there. Once I order a few replacement prints I'll have my pictures up around the apartment. I also think I'm gonna clean up around here this afternoon. Like I said, Paul is bachelor extraordinaire. Unlike Jake, his parents didn't furnish the entire place. We could really use a bookcase here.

Alas, all my girly crap has to stay in my room. All the Pikachu, dolls and fancy teddy bears. Also unlike Jake, Paul doesn't want people coming in and going, "Dude... why is there a porcelain doll on your desk?"

I also think I might be stuck letting Jake keep the cat, but I'm trying to get Paul to let me get a pet here. I actually have a shot at a puppy.